Back when Sega and Nintendo ruled the roost and dinosaurs walked the earth, this 'lil slice of VHS vaste, er, waste hit the shelves. Its aim was to give players a taste of the new video games about to hit the shelves ... and its aim missed the mark. Robert "Big Face" Z'Dar is Vartan, superhero and leader of two precocious kid gamers who are out to instruct about what's a'coming to play. Oh, and they're also trying to save the universe from an evil emperor or warlord or baron or sumthin.
images © Studio Video Productions
11/24/14 10:58 PM
Dora has long since retired from the exploring game. But that doesn't stop her cousin Diego from fetching her (and her monkey) from a Columbian bar in order to stop the evil Swiper (no swiping!) from claiming the mystical Destiny Medallion. Which would be bad. Apparently.
images © College Humor
11/23/14 4:11 PM
Who's up for some sloppy seconds? Even the Porch Swings galleries have uncapped screengrabs so here's your chance to jump back on the pile for one more go 'round! This week's Leftovers come from Star Wars XXX-A Porn Parody, Emmanuelle In Space 1-First Contact, Malibu Express, and Californication!
images © their various owners
It's World War 2 and the Nazis decide to take a page from Captain America comics and make their own super-soldier. One that's bulked up like the Hulk and kills everyone like the Punisher. Which spells bad news for the Allies. So they send in a rag-tag group of soldiers (like Nick Fury and the Howling Commandos) to take the genetically-enhanced spud down. Starring Parker Lewis, Barnabas Collins, Superboy, and a host of other "who are theys?"
images © Combat Productions/Nu Image Films/Sci Fi Pictures/Sci-Fi Channel/Unified Film Organization
11/25/14 12:32 PM
It's Halloween: the holiday of the soulless and damned. So what better time to salute... KIM KARDASHIAN! That's right, it's time to give the
Caption Mitt treatment to everyone's favorite entitled, attention-grabbing, talentless media princess! So here's a collection of shots of her throughout the years, along with selected "wit and wisdumb" quotes from Miss K herself. And it's all up to enjoy until the end of the year! images © their various owners
11/24/14 11:25 PM
The Doctor and Clara end up on an alien planet with no idea of how they got there. And they ain't alone: there's also a shapeshifter and a hacker with a computer brain. All four have been yanked into service by the mysterious and dickish Architect in order to rob the Bank of Karabraxos: a place that makes Gringott's look like ... well, a really each place to rob. But there's not only traps and guards to deal with; there's also an alien hulk that can stew your brains without notice. By the end though, there are multiple Keeley Hawes, so the story's not all bad.
images © BBC
11/24/14 11:19 PM
Count Dracula decides to replace the Dracula (i.e. vampire) ruling Greece with another Dracula: a nebbish layabout named Panagis Tsakonas. So he sends Panagis's hot Draculette (i.e. vampiress) cousin to turn him. Before you know it, Panagis is a count with a cape and everything and starts his own mobile blood bank out of an old van. This flick isn't to the same closed-captioning level as Turkish Star Wars, but it's close!
images © CAS Cine Video
11/25/14 11:27 AM